Hey PUNK, Start a Revolution
Listen, Dipshit, and get this right the first time: you’re spending your cash on crap you don’t need and some corporate lobbyist is using that same cash against you; stop fueling your own demise. BubCAp, righteous dude that he is, says, “I spend green I don’t have on trash I don’t need to impress fuckers I can’t stand.” Get out of the loop, fool! The stupid loop.
If you’ve got any cash at all — unlikely because you spent your last four bucks buying this piece of shit rag — you probably came by it the hard way, unless you stole it from your McD bustin’ younger sister. Whatever. Let’s just say you earned it. Why throw it away? Had a buck? Spent it? That one dollar you just spent is gone forever. You may earn another dollar, but the one you just spent is gone, and it’s gone straight into Johnny Corporate America (JohnnyCO for short) if you dropped it in the wrong place. And JohnnyCO has been working hard since before your parents were born to get to where we are right now: economic slavery. “Whoa, Wha’d you say, bro?”
Yep, what did the aftermath of 9/11 really bring us? We’re free to fly and buy, that’s about it. British dude was slamdanced recently by a repugnican for ASKING A FUCKING QUESTION, and the repugnican still got elected. Lady a couple of months ago was arrested for laughing during EvilSessions’ confirmation hearings. And, really who wants to fly anymore? Dude’s are gettin’ slamdanced on planes these days too. Point is, the man and JohnnyCO are in on this together, and they’re using your money to lock you down. We don’t have time for a MacroEcon lesson here, so just believe me (not fake news).
The lousy $2.39 in your pocket is the real start to the revolution. Listen up; we’ll get there. For now, let’s play this out: so your old man worked hard, got a career, and hates his life, and still lives paycheck to paycheck. Why? He can’t keep up with JohnnyCO and his buds on Wall Street. Why? Because JohnnyCO has built a SYSTEM of economies that your old man believed in and invested in and is dependent upon and is keeping him enslaved to his heart attack producing 9to5er. Proof: when Jack Kerouac road tripped across ‘mehrka in the fifties, he and his speed-crazed bros slept in the car on the side of the road when they burned out. Try that (sleeping on the side of the road) today and you get busted. Today, the man — thanks to laws passed by JohnnyCO and his local Chamber of Commerce — make it illegal to be free and require you to drop $90 at your local JohnnyCO owned hotel. JohnnyCO and his perps in Congress are making it illegal to NOT participate in their system of economies, i.e. economic slavery. Think auto insurance, health insurance, rent, electric bills, etc., all of which continue to climb at a rate that benefits JohnnyCO and Wall Street and not you (has your wage climbed at the same percentage rate as a gallon of milk’s price has climbed over the last four years?).
OK, back to the revolution. If you’re a punk you should know a thing or two about CBGB. If you’re a young punk and that’s not jiggling any gray matter, doogle it. Here’s the trick. Back then, there wasn’t any place for punks to play live jams but the CBGB in NYC. Hilly Kristal gave punks a chance; the rest is history. Listen up, ’cause this is the revolutionary point I want to sink in: They made their own economy and it gave punks the freedom to exist because their green was the engine that started a new, revolutionary economy right before the eyes of the world and nobody could stop it because it became a powerful force. And some said it later died and the CBGB is gone, but has it?
Back to your lousy $2.39. It can be the beginning of the new revolution if you use it wisely, use it locally, use it for shit that matters, and — if you can — stop spending it on shit that will help JohnnyCO keep your revolution on hold. Stop droppin’ dimes on McD crap food and learn to make your own loaf of bread with about a buck’s worth of ingredients. Find a farmer’s market and buy some veggies from a local freak with a farm (ask her/him for a job and learn to do that shit yourself). Stop droppin’ green on assholes and start droppin’ your green on other members of the revolution which will build a new economy that you can breathe in. And, lastly, stop buyin’ that corporate comic bullshit from Blowvill and PC comics and buy from like-minded, independent, non-JohnnyCO rags (like this one).
Next time I’ll rant about your vote…